Thursday, July 29, 2010

Putting Off Seeing Someone You Care About?

Thursday, July 29, 2010
I just returned from a funeral home, where I went to view a beloved uncle’s body and grieve with his family. A few days ago, he had a massive heart attack and never knew what hit him. He was only 73. Now nothing will ever be the same for his wife, adult children or grandchildren. And I cheated myself out of a post-divorce relationship with him and his wife.

Over 17 years ago, Rudy met another woman and left my aunt, who was devastated. She was also enraged, so much so that most of her siblings were hesitant to even mention my uncle. At least, that’s what I heard from my father. So I certainly wasn’t going to look him up, even though I really missed him.

Rudy was my dad’s younger sister’s husband. And to outsiders, they appeared to be a happy couple. I used to babysit for their two toddlers when I was 16, and I loved my aunt and uncle and their kids. I remember how Rudy was the life of the party. He was always in a good mood, always had a smile on his face. One of my fondest memories was how Rudy would come home from a party and get a pepperoni stick out of the refrigerator. (He was born in eastern Europe, and he loved sausages.) Then we’d talk, laugh and eat pepperoni slices ‘til my tongue burned.

Over the past several years, I’ve wanted to invite him and his wife to dinner at our house. But I didn’t have his phone number or address and couldn’t find it on line. I meant to call my cousin, his daughter, and ask for his number, but I never did that, either. And now it’s too late. This is the second time in about the past four years where I’ve intended to contact someone, but waited, only to have them die unexpectedly first.

So I’m writing this to nudge you into calling the people with whom you want to reconnect, before it’s too late. One thing’s for sure – I won’t let this happen again.


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