Sunday, March 14, 2010

Gotta Laugh About Aging!

Sunday, March 14, 2010
Birthdays don’t bother me, and I don’t feel much older than I did 10 years ago, except for an occasional muscle ache. But significant changes started happening somewhere around 40. I can remember using a new hair conditioner and checking the label to see if I had to leave it in for a few minutes or could rinse it right out. Well, I thought I was having a stroke or something – I couldn’t read it! No matter how much I squinted, I couldn’t make out those little letters. Although I’d always thought I could will these things away, I soon realized that my reading vision was shot. That was only the beginning.

It’s just too bad I hadn’t figured it out earlier. Like when I went to Nordstrom’s cosmetic counter to return my Lancome mascara, because it must’ve been dried out when I bought it, since there was obviously none on my lashes. The saleswoman looked at me with a mix of incredulity and disdain, but she gave me a new one, which also appeared to be dried out. When I finally decided to look at my mascara with a magnifying mirror, I almost died. I looked like Tammy Faye Bakker! How long had I walked around like that?

It’s the same thing with those little hairs that show up around the chin and lip area. I could feel them, but I didn’t see them. So nobody else could, either, right? Oh, my God! And now I’m having trouble with my eyebrows. Every now and then, a wiry pubic hair with a mind of its own pops up in a brow. Someone said to use eyebrow wax. To hell with that – I just pull the little bastards out. When will this stop?!


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